INTRODUCTION

In 2020, as part of Okaeri’s goal to create safe, nurturing, and inclusive spaces for Nikkei LGBTQ+ individuals and allies, we began to create Educational Program Guides to complement our virtual programs and provide an educational element to the stories shared.

Each Program Guide PDF is a curated list of questions paired to a specific Okaeri program recording, and intended to be discussed in a group. Our hope is that organizations and individuals can watch these recordings together and have a productive and engaging conversation using the Guides as a launching point.

These Program Guides are free to use as a personal resource. If your organization would like to use one, please send a request to: info@okaeri.org

 

Coming out, Coming Home

As LGBTQ+ elders pass away, we lose valuable histories of trailblazers who, through their courage to come out and be visible, paved the way for others to live authentically. This is a recorded discussion among an intergenerational group of LGBTQ+ individuals and allies about their life experiences.

This guide has been used by organizations including Minna no Mura and JACL-Salt Lake. At Minna no Mura’s virtual “Coming Out, Coming Home” event on 10/16/21, key points included:

  1. The post-WWII upbringing of Nikkei families, including the sentiment, “Do not bring shame to the family,” that was ingrained in many households. This sentiment was, and perhaps still is, a reason why so many Nikkei stay “in the closet” and aren’t able to be their authentic selves in public.  

  2. Parents have a coming out process, too. Parents may fear the opinions and judgment of others based on their child coming out. However, it is important to remember that when a person comes out, they are often seeking support and reassurance of your love, though they may not ask for this directly.  

  3. Coming out is not just about the sexual aspect, but also about an individual’s physical health, mental health, appearance, and the societal expectations and acceptance of family, friends, and colleagues.  

  4. “Come as you are,” a Buddhist teaching.

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Empowering Through Love: Japanese American Fathers & Their Gay Sons

To highlight the experiences of fathers of LGBTQ children and honor fathers on Father’s Day, Okaeri proposed a panel to empower Nikkei fathers and their gay sons to break silence, deconstruct limiting notions of masculinity, and set the stage for even deeper sharing and healing.

On Sunday, June 5th, 2022, Okaeri hosted a panel, titled “Sharing Our Stories: Japanese American Fathers and their Gay Sons.” Moderated by Eric Arimoto, the panel included Al Nakatani-father of two gay sons and founder of Honor Thy Children, Glenn Murakami, and Glenn’s son Kyle Murakami.

Al and Glenn discussed their experiences as Japanese American fathers of gay sons, and Kyle and Eric provided perspective as gay Japanese American sons. Al shared his experience losing two of his sons to AIDS and the third to violence, and Glenn and Kyle shared their experiences navigating LGBTQ+ identity and allyship in the faith community.

The panelists also discussed the challenges of LGBTQ+ identity and belonging, the impacts of masculine ideologies and cultural expectations, and the unspoken pain that can carry across generations.

This panel provided powerful moments of shared understanding, and highlighted the unique father-son perspective that is often missing in larger LGBTQ+ discussions.

This guide has been used by organizations including PFLAG National.

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